FAMILY MATTERS: PARENT/CHILD

SPRING 2022

TAKING FLIGHT  

SOMETIME AROUND THE TRANSITION from middle school to high school, young Catholics typically experience a sacrament that marks a symbolic transition from childhood to maturity: confirmation. In the words of the Catechism of the Catholic Church (1303), the sacrament of confirmation “unites us more firmly to Christ . . . increases the gifts of the Holy Spirit in us . . . [and] renders our bond with the Church more perfect.” Some theologians say it’s analogous to the descent of the Holy Spirit on the apostles at Pentecost; it strengthens us to go forth as Christians and spread the word of Jesus’ love. Once confirmed, a person is fully initiated into the Church.

Preparatory classes for confirmation, provided by parish religious education programs and Catholic schools’ religion classes, focus on developing the knowledge, judgment, and moral compass to help young women and men make the choices and meet the challenges that will face them as Catholic adults. The students are also invited to anticipate the joys of venturing on whatever path God will call them to.

After 8th grade, when young Catholics age out of most parish religious education programs, it’s important for parents to guide them toward continued growth in their faith. “We don’t want teens to think they are finished thinking about their faith once they hit high school,” says Ela Milewska, director of the archdiocese’s Office of Youth Faith Formation. “In fact, this is when they are hitting a crucial period for discerning God’s call.”

Though weekly religious education classes may be over, there are youth ministries throughout the archdiocese, supported by the Youth Faith Formation office, to keep young Catholics thinking about – and acting on – their faith. These ministries provide social events, volunteer opportunities, and arts and outdoor activities year-round. Once a year, the archdiocese brings together hundreds of young people from all over the archdiocese for New York Catholic Youth Day. This is the event of the year for Catholic teens in New York, with music, liturgical dance, inspirational talks, and a joyous Mass, usually celebrated by Cardinal Dolan. Most years, the event has included a mega-service project, in which all the attendees work in shifts to assemble thousands of meal packets to be shipped off for distribution to people facing starvation in a hunger-ravaged part of the world. For information about New York Catholic Youth Day and youth ministry in the Archdiocese of New York, visit archny.org/ministries-and-offices/youth-faith-formation.

CIRCLE GAME

AFTER HIGH SCHOOL, most children are no longer asking their parents to approve their movie choices or remind them to go to Mass on Sunday. But in families where Jesus has been a consistent parenting partner, the grown children stand a better chance of carrying their parents’ values into adulthood.

For parents of students who go on to college, there is great hope but also some fear about those first years when a child may be living away from home. The academic and intellectual journey takes place against a backdrop of dangerous distractions and temptations that a collegian must navigate. The University Apostolate of the Archdiocese of New York helps students at colleges and universities throughout the archdiocese to “keep the faith.” Its campus ministries offer social, religious, and travel activities in a context that accepts and encourages continued exploration of a student’s Catholic identity, even when the surrounding culture may dismiss it as uncool or politically incorrect.

It’s natural for young adults to turn from the faith for a time when they become independent. “The students’ faith, while seemingly lost, is not lost at all,” says Sr. Barbara Mueller, OP, director of campus ministry at CUNY. “Third and fourth year, one sees the student begin to interact with the Church again.  It can be thought of as a sign of reinvigoration.” 

This is the parent’s prayer: The young adult, fresh from self-discovery and strong in faith, begins the cycle over again. 

It all starts with love. The love of a husband and wife for each other, and for their child. The love of a child for her or his parents. The love of a grandparent and a grandchild. It starts with love, but it doesn’t stop. Love multiplies. †

The Archdiocese of New York also offers support for families facing bereavement and loss as well as for grown children who – completing the parent-child circle – may need help caring for their aging parents.

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