FAMILY MATTERS: PARENT/CHILD

SPRING 2022

GROWING WISE

AS CHILDREN GET BIGGER, they become more independent. They need less help in the basics – getting dressed, eating, cleaning up their messes – but this does not diminish the parental role. If anything, as the child’s social relationships widen, the oversight of parents and caretakers becomes more critical. This is especially true in matters of faith.

“The Church reminds us that parents are the first teachers of the faith,” says Joe Long, Director of Children’s Faith Formation for the Archdiocese of New York. “More and more, we see the importance of integrating the practice of faith at home with the parish and beyond.” This integrated approach centers on formation of the family.

“Faith formation programs take the work of the Church at home – the ‘domestic church’ – and provide teachings and tools to live as disciples of Jesus in the world,” Long says. “We work with pastors and religious education directors to provide programs and strategies that help parents actively participate in teaching the faith to their children.”

The Covid-19 pandemic, for all its tragic consequences, actually gave a boost to formation of families in the archdiocese. Because social distancing required at-home instruction, even when remote learning tools like Zoom were being used, parents had to take a more active role in overseeing the process. Religious education directors soon saw that this enhanced the experience for everyone and showed parents how rewarding their role can be. “Parents are actually sitting with their children and making it a priority. It’s very different from just dropping them off,” says Antoinette Gilligan, director of religious education at St. Joseph’s in Bronxville. “We have had lots of positive feedback from our parents saying they love the flexibility and really enjoy learning along with their children.”

For parents whose students are enrolled in the Catholic Schools in the Archdiocese of New York, the support is even stronger. Their children learn Christian history, scripture, and traditions in the daily school setting – while teachers and administrators also ensure that all subjects are taught in alignment with the Church’s values. Over the past several academic years, the K-8 Catholic schools in New York have consistently outperformed their public counterparts in test scores and academic outcomes. The students get a first-rate education by secular standards, but are also exposed to the full spectrum of Catholic teachings.

This doesn’t mean that classes in history or science are “censored” to teach only Catholic ideas. The Catholic schools teach students of all backgrounds, and don’t force the Church’s beliefs on anyone; but children of Catholic families can graduate with not only great skills but also a stronger relationship with Jesus Christ.

Catholic high schools in the archdiocese extend this opportunity right up until the time a young woman or man is ready to go to college or enter the workforce. For more information on the 170 K-8 schools and 43 Catholic high schools in the archdiocese, visit catholicschoolsny.org.

GROWING STRONG 

LATE CHILDHOOD AND ADOLESCENCE is a crucial time in a young person’s life, and not just for education. These are years when parents want to see their children become strong and resilient both physically and emotionally.

The Catholic Youth Organization, an agency of Catholic Charities of New York, sponsors youth programs in basketball, baseball, track and field, volleyball, cheerleading, and golf. The most widely known program, CYO basketball, has administered programs in more than 100 parishes around the archdiocese, serving thousands of boys and girls in 4th through 8th grades. The evening practices and weekend games bring families and children into close involvement with their parishes. “What we’re teaching these kids is not how to be great players and win, win, win,” says Seth Peloso, acting director of CYO for the archdiocese. “We try to instill in them a love of physical activity, the values of sportsmanship and fair play, and a sense of the rewards of consistent effort and practice.” The CYO prayer is also recited before every contest.

In addition to athletics, CYO sponsors a competitive chess program and an art and essay contest for students at parishes in the archdiocese. After a hiatus in competitive and team sport programs during the pandemic, CYO’s programs are gradually building back to a full schedule. For more information, visit cyony.org.

In addition to the CYO, many parishes also offer children and adolescents opportunities for participation in the life of the Church community. Music directors frequently lead youth choirs and invite young instrumentalists to provide music during Mass and at other events. Starting around 4th grade, boys and girls can also sign up for training to be altar servers. For portraits of altar servers in a few of our parishes, see “In His Service,” page 18.

In addition, various charitable ministries, including food pantries, clothing closets, and soup kitchens, encourage young people to volunteer in service to the needy. Though many of these programs were forced to limit participation during the pandemic, most have now reopened for young volunteers. For information on volunteer opportunities for youth, visit catholiccharitiesny.org/volunteer and check your local parish bulletin for ministries in your locality.

PEACE OF MIND

HOWEVER SOUND A CHILD'S PHYSICAL HEALTH may be, parents must also be vigilant about mental health. Young people today often feel bombarded by stressful or judgmental messages, and may be affected by turmoil at home or in their social lives. The result can be anxiety, depression, or plummeting self-esteem – which in turn can lead to substance abuse or suicidal thoughts. Teens and concerned parents may have no idea where to turn for help.

The Parish Counseling Network, sponsored by Catholic Charities of New York, is a roster of highly qualified mental health professionals who can provide therapeutic services at a low cost to those who are registered at a parish in the Archdiocese of New York. To access this service, individuals and families can inquire with their pastor. Catholic Charities also provides other mental health services through regional clinical facilities and networks in the various regions of the archdiocese. For more information about therapy, counseling, and coaching resources, contact the Family Life Office at 646-794-3185 or [email protected].

To address the serious issues of teen suicide and substance abuse, the Family Life Office partnered with the Respect Life Office and the Catholic Schools in the Archdiocese of New York to sponsor an Archdiocesan Suicide Prevention Initiative for teens. The program includes videos; parent webinars; lesson plans provided to teachers in religious education programs as well as Catholic middle and high schools; and “Friend2Friend,” a digital interactive simulation program for teens that breaks down stigmas, teaches warning signs, and allows them to rehearse scenarios.